The Discovering Me Series: How Can I Love Myself?


Love is profound. You can bask in its glory & fill every part of your being till eternity, only if you understand its infinite depth. The answer to, ‘What is love?’ is usually power-packed with adjectives expressing highest emotion.

‘Who do you love the most?’ without batting an eyelid, I receive the answers – my child, spouse, girlfriend/ boyfriend, parents… the list can go on. Not even once do you consider “I Love Myself!”

To love others without expectations is selfless love. Its incredible and you feel elated. But, I wonder how people forget to love their own selves. Why does it not precede their love for others? Over the years, we have programmed ourselves under the influence of external environment & internal reactions to act in a particular manner. In pursuit of happiness, we search for love in others; by making them happy & expecting gestures that make us happy. The ‘Me’ is buried deep within in the quest of loving & making others happy. For a happy & harmonious Self, a balance between ‘Selfless Love’ for others and ‘Self Love’ is essential.

Pampering yourself, following your dreams, fulfilling all tangible and intangible ambitions are manifestations of your heart’s desire to love own self! People have an escapist attitude. They do not own up to their solecism. Giving advise, blaming others comes naturally taking away happiness & joy of the moment or pride to amend your own mistake. Unwittingly, you give your power to people and situations to control your emotions as well as your attitude. You become a pawn of emotions. Your willpower and courage to love yourself are lost.

Tips for Self Love

  • Be yourself. Shine in your light with courage.

Feel your soul connect with every decision you make.

  • Ego is essential for self-respect; but when it overpowers everything, controls you, all it does is harm. Never allow the ego bug bite you.
  • Decisions from your heart are always what your Supreme Intelligence approves and you can never go wrong.
  • Listen to your heart.
  • Keep the faith in your judgment. The universe always supports actions guided by the Supreme who dwells in you.

Speak when spoken to, answer when asked & give an opinion when requested.

Be open-hearted to receiving suggestions but take charge of your life. In any relation, being together doesn’t imply you become dependent on the partner completely. An independent state of mind gives you your space and the freedom to love yourself.

  • Express your point of view with love, calmness & affection.
  • Never hold a grudge against situation or people. Give the benefit of doubt to others. When thoughts and your heart are cleansed, you are actually freeing yourself from the web of negative emotions & attitudes. You are filled with positivity.

Daily introspection is a magical way to love yourself.

Retreat into nature for 10-15 minutes, of ‘me time’ every day without friends, gadgets and family.

  • When catering to the needs of family, friends & social groups, expectations arise. Always remember, you are an ocean of Supreme love that flows through you. Connect with this resource and surge with love for yourself.
  • Thoughts consume 90% of your energy. Watch your thoughts. An idle mind is devil’s workshop, causing ailments. Keep yourself busy to love yourself

Love yourself like a child

Nurture and be gentle with yourself, especially during rough times.

  • Regular practice of meditation & yoga helps revitalize body, mind & spirit. It keeps stress, anxiety & insecurity at bay.
  • To connect with your real self, adopt any form of art– drawing, singing, theatre, dance etc. Make it a part of your regular regime. Experience freedom through art. Open the closed door of your heart to see the reflection of your happy self whom you love. Say a prayer of gratitude for everything.

In your ‘Discovering Me’ journal write your reflections on Self Love following the above guidelines & introspect. Be joyful allow yourself to love you!

Affirm the 4S of Self Love mentally:
I am Strong;
I am Straight Forward;
I am Sincere;
I am Steady;
I love myself; I love myself

Please feel free to email me at pmepathak@gmail.com  in case of any questions. To know more about Preeti’s philosophy, you can pick up her book, 25 Essentials to Happy Living

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