How to Parent A Brilliant, Young Adult

“A journey that parents and their offspring travel together fills their lives with joy & contentment. It also fulfils cosmic will.”

– 25 ESSENTIALS TO HAPPY LIVING

Lord Ganesha, the elephant-headed God also known Vighnaharta – he who removes obstacles, is worshipped first among all deities during ceremonies. I learnt this through mythological books & scriptures. But a deeper understanding dawned upon me when I turned the torched light within. I was blessed with profound learning. God created us in his image. In the Sat Yuga, he took human form. This helped humans with limited awareness visualize & connect with the Supreme Intelligence.
I believe Lord Ganesha is worshipped in the beginning because of the profound love, simplicity, respect, sensitivity, humility & obedience he has for his parents, Lord Shiva-Parvati as well as everyone else. Last year, I visited Lord Kartikeya’s temple in Madurai. Words will be less to express the magnetic vibrations, I experienced in this Divine abode. A sense of love, togetherness & family energy(bond) of Lord Shiva & family engulfed me.
Man’s eternal quest is to build a home, a heavenly abode for his family, stay connected & spread happiness. In our superficial living of constantly oscillating emotions, this quest becomes challenging. Persistence with patience is the mantra in the modern age for mom & dad.
Bringing up children today
Children are our reflection. They talk the talk & walk the walk just like us. The formative years are crucial. Every child’s mental & emotional development begins from mother’s womb till they are 8 years old. It is, for this reason, they say a pregnant woman must always read good books, be cheerful and all her desires should be fulfilled. Actually, Parenting begins from the time of conception. When you have this plinth, pre-teen & teenage upbringing is not challenging. An unharmonious atmosphere gives birth to a child with insecurities, a sensitive nature and inward sadness. But the universe gives us chance to undo this damage with timely resources. We have to be open, receptive and fill our child with joy & stability.
The EQ (emotional quotient) of Young adults (pre-teen & teenage child) is a manifestation of past experiences, physical & biological changes, peers, home environment & social quotient. Today’s fast-paced modern age, which is also the ascending phase of the Dwapar Yuga, makes it significantly challenging for teenagers to strike the right balance. There is an extreme pull of forces between frivolous indulgence and following your heart’s true desire. They are vulnerable. The stronger the pull. the greater the attraction. Both parents must befriend and anchor their child. This helps strike the right balance of happiness within and without.
Substance abuse
Drug abuse, smoking, consuming alcohol has become a rage and is common these days. What starts as curiosity sometimes takes them deep into the dungeon of addiction.
When I see children cross the line and start weed/drugs for kicks, my experience over the years raises only one alarm that the child is going through an emotional issue, which needs to be addressed. A child will certainly not understand this. All they connect with is state of ecstasy after consuming their drug of choice, which takes them away from problems – only to feel low next day with reality staring them in their eyes. Some parents who consume drugs or alcohol feel its just fine for their kids to consume it as well, oblivious to their child’s EQ and its long-term impact!
I would like to request both mom and dad to always be a friend to your child.  Maintain the connection, sometimes as a friend and at times be the parent or mentor & guide. Don’t allow petty matters or behavioural issues to develop a crease in your relation. Otherwise, kids go into a shell or rebel in conflicting situations. From the age of 12-13 years, kids gradually stop sharing their feelings, emotions & experiences.

 

Key to bonding with young adults lifelong

  1. Give them space, yet be aware
  2. Observe & understand
  3. Listen to even the unsaid
  4. Encourage an open forum discussion at home; be receptive to their suggestion
  5. Understand their perspective and  give them the benefit of doubt
  6. Make them independent
  7. Express your Love & Respect in spite of their IKEA badge (I Know ‘Et All)

Love & Light

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